You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
