Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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