im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
