Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
