Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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