i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
