The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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