Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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