let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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