just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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