Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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