So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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