Your face is a jimmy john
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
