The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
