So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
