even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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