he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
