i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
