I skipped work to stalk him.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
