I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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