why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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