at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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