thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
