I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
