Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
