GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
