He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
