i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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