We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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