its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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