we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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