Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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