My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
