A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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