White coat. Heels.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
no, he came in my armpit
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
