dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You ate ashes out of my bong
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
