I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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