Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My balls are so social today.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
