Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
