Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
