I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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