shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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