Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
