Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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