Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I won the penis lottery.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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