It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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