she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
