I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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