is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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