And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
